In The End I Started Thinking About The Beginning
by WritingWithABrokenHeart
Summary: You never realize what you've got until it's taken away from you by destiny. Life has a way of separating what love has brought together. My version of what Tiva could be .. nothing but tension that will eventually break our hearts.


**For my own personal reasons, I felt like writing something that would be kind of heartbreaking. **

The office was quiet and empty. But why wouldn't it be? It was Friday night. Or Saturday morning. Around 2 am. Everyone had left hours ago to go home and play happy fucking family.  
He exited the elevator the same way he had done for the past 12 years.  
What he didn't expect was the woman staring at him from across the bullpen. Her small figure and her ninja skills made her move silent as air. But he had felt her presence every since he walked into the office. Why? Because it was Ziva. In a crowd, she would still stand out as a burning flame. She wore the same clothes she had worn all day. Dark grey pants. A dark red sweater. But her hair was down. Those long, wild curls cascaded down her small body. He hadn't noticed how long her hair had gotten. It was almost at her waist.

"You should think about cutting your hair." _Did I really just say that?_

Ziva didn't respond immediately. Then she turned around and faced her. If you didn't know Ziva David, you wouldn't notice what Tony did. You would just see a beautiful, young woman in her late twenties. Tony saw that. But he also saw the traces of vulnerability in her eyes. The first time he saw it was 3 years ago. When Saleem had pulled the bag off of her head and revealed what Tony had hoped to see one more time during his life. Ziva's brown eyes.  
Ziva studied the man she knew so well. They stood about 10 feet from each other.

"What are you doing here?" Ziva started moving towards him.

"I could ask you the same question." Tony watched her movements carefully.

Ziva stopped inches away from Tony. Most people thought that those two had never heard of personal space. Al though everyone else would have noticed the minutes go by, and although Tony and Ziva knew it wasn't normal to just stare at another person for this long, they didn't speak. They had been doing this for 7 years.

"How's Werth?"

"Damon." Ziva didn't mean to snap at him, so she looked at him to see his expression. It hadn't changed."He is doing great. He is expecting me when I am done here."

"Planning the wedding details?"

"Yes."

"He's a lucky guy."

Ziva ignored this comment.

"I am .. sad that you cannot attend the ceremony."

"Yeah well." Tony paused to choose his words carefully. He wouldn't tell her directly, but his words had to express his true feelings."With everything that's going on right now. With Jeanne and with Bailey. It's pretty hectic over there at the San Diego office so I'll be lucky if I even get a chance to breathe."

Ziva sighed. Tony was a man for lame excuses. She didn't understand, but somehow she did. That didn't even make sense, but not much did when it came to Tony and her.

"Well I can send you some pictures."

"Thanks, I'd like that." _I'll burn them._

"And please send me some of Bailey." _Al though I probably won't look at them. She has your eyes._

"I will."

"How is she? And Jeanne?"

"They're fine. They're at Jeanne's mother's house while I pick up the last of my stuff."

"At 2 am?"

"Well, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it by coming back when everyone was here. I didn't expect someone to be here at this time."

"Gibbs had me finish some old reports."

"In the dark? Standing beside McGee's desk?"

"Since when have you become a man for details?" Ziva walked towards him not breaking their eye contact.

"I was just wondering why you're standing in an empty office in the middle of the night when you're fiancé is at home. Waiting for you."

Ziva didn't respond. Tony got concerned, but didn't change his expression.

"Did he hurt you?"

Ziva looked up and bit her lip.

"No."

Tony moved closer towards her, if that was even possible. He broke the space that was left between them. Their shirts brushed against each other.

"You can do better than that Ziva."

"Excuse me?"

"You know how to lie. You're not doing a really good job at the moment."

"Damon did nothing. He is very caring."

_Sure he is. We know to which lengths he'll go to be perfect. _

Ziva kept eye contact for just a short moment, and then spoke again.

"I should get back."

Ziva started moving, but Tony grabbed her arm. She stopped and looked back at him. No. No it was just wrong. They were two completely different people, at different places in their lives. She was a young woman, about to marry a man that would only give her the best. They had agreed to begin a new chapter in their lives, together and start a family of their own. He was a man, with a daughter and a beautiful woman to call his own. He was the leader of a team of agents similar to theirs. He was at a completely different point in his life. He had settled down. She was just about to start. She knew the temptation was the same as always, the same as it had been for 7 years of miscommunication, and not giving in to what seemed so natural was always an option. But the way he stared at her. She searched his eyes for any sign of doubt. If he wanted to stop as much as she did. If he knew that it wouldn't do any good, that it would only make things worse. But he showed no sign of wanting to stop and turn back to reality.

And as their lips met in a longing and overwhelming kiss, the embrace more violent than romantic, 7 years of tension finally let loose and gave them the power to express so many unspoken words.

**The next morning at 7 am, **Abby Scuito entered her lab like it was just an ordinary day. But something she didn't expect met her eyes from across the room. She found the female special agent, and her best friend, lying on the couch in her lab. She was wrapped in a blanket and her expression was emotionless. She stared into space, not even turning around when Abby moved towards her and put her arms around her. Ziva didn't cry. She just felt empty.

_You stare at the empty space beside you. It never hits you, until it's too late. You never realize what you've got until it's taken away from you by destiny. Life has a way of separating what love has brought together. While what you care about prepare to leave, your heart will keep telling you that there's still hope. When you heart feels like something you hold close to it is missing, it will tell you. Not a minute sooner. Because the minute it's gone, your heart looses the strings to another heart. Love depends on a few other things than just 2 beating hearts. Timing. Life. Fate. Without those allies, love simply won't stand a chance. _

**I sure hope that it won't end like this. Their hearts wouldn't be the only ones breaking. By the way, Jeanne got pregnant just before the season 4 finale. I know it's not exactly a new storyline, but it's just a detail so I thought it was okay. I was listening to a very depressing playlist on my iPod and felt like doing this to Tony and Ziva. Don't hate me. **

**What inspired me the most were a few different songs from the playlist. If you want to give them a listen here you go: **

**Cool – Gwen Stefani**

**We'll Be A Dream – We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato**

**It is what it is – Lifehouse **

**Shattered – Trading Yesterday **

**More Than A Memory – Garth Brooks**

**In the end I started – Brinck ft. Maria Marcus (Main inspiration to this story)**

**Someday – Nickelback**

**Gone Away – Safety Suit**

**Love Song Requim – Trading Yesterday**


End file.
